David Lee Roth & Steve Vai Wanna Pork a Statue!!!

I discovered this at our latest Yen Ha adventure. Being a dame myself, I love doing songs that men write about banging chicks ("Lick It Up," "Girls, Girls, Girls," "Cherry Pie," ad nauseum). On Saturday, I realized that I had inadvertently neglected everyone's favorite high-kicking loudmouth, David Lee Roth! I immediately rectified the situation by busting out "Yankee Rose." You may recall the unbelievably rad video which opens with Diamond Dave ordering "A bottle of anything and a glazed donut . . . to go!" and ends with him high-kicking a giant balloon, which releases many smaller balloons, equalling fun for all! In between, there's lots of nastiness that was censored when the video first aired on MTV in 1986, such as Dave shaking his bare (though painted) ass in the camera, and LOTS of "My guitar is a cock!" and "My microphone is a cock!" stageplay. I was so distracted by all of this blatant sexuality as a kid, that I never realized that "the original good time girl" they're talking about is The Statue of Liberty. In hindsight, of course, it's all embarrassingly obvious. Did I think it was just some hot, slutty groupie whose "rockets were flaring" and who could, on any night "prove that her flag was still there"? I can't say that my life is enriched by this information, but it's more interesting, dammit!